no. 3 - Murder

I'll confess.
I did it.
I killed them all.
I started plotting at thirteen.
You have lots of time to think when you're stuck in the closet.
When I realized I couldn't be her I knew she had to die.
So I developed a plan.
Followed the steps perfectly.
A masterpiece of how to become me.
Come out as bi after graduation - right before you drop off the grid.
This gives everybody time to come to terms with it.
6 months later reappear in the world.
Come out as a lesbian.
Tell them you only like girls.
They'll be more open minded.
Cut your hair the way you like
Finally dress the way that makes you feel right.
Slowly start to get tattoos.
Systematically murder every version of you they had in their heads.
Be fully prepared to become the disappointment.
Embrace who you truly are.
Go to therapy.
Move away.
Make some real friends.
I killed each one of them.
Every single expectation.
I did it so I could survive.​

By E.V. Seegmiller
-poem-