no. 1 - The Water

When I was four, all I wanted was to step into that holy font and be transformed by your water. I believed it would fix me.
When I was eight, it did not matter that I could barely stand, I pushed through. I gave all of my strength to step in that pool, and it solved nothing. I believed I needed fixing.
When I was twelve, I went under again, but not for me, for others. All the while drowning in my own tears from recognizing who I truly was - and how it went against everything you taught me to be. I believed I was beyond repair.
When I was sixteen, I was no longer worthy of your water. I had read the words, I had given you my everything, and you would have watched me drown. I would never enter your waters again. I believed I was letting everyone down.
Now at twenty, feel the call to the water once more, but not in the form of a sacred ceremony or a blessed font, but in nature. The rain, the ocean, the rivers and lakes; the water of the world. You told me it was corrupt, but somehow this water did what yours never could. It helped me to heal.

By E.V.Seegmiller
-​poem-