no. 15 - steam

I was taught to search for God.
I grew up trying to earn holy love in the way I covered my skin and sat in expensive, beautiful buildings.
I was taught that God would love me if my language was pristine and liquor never breached my lips.
I devoted my life to hiding my heart in standards and contorting to regulations, striving to find sanctity in my endless suffering.
Now I know better
I find God in the confidence of wearing an outfit that makes me love myself.
I find God in the company of a brother in a beat up truck.
I find God in the strength of the shoulders I cry on and the vulnerability of the tears that wet my own.
I find God in the bottle we pass after a long day of work.
I was taught to find God’s love.
Now I find the holiest spirit in the simplest of things, like the steam of my coffee.
I know now that God’s love finds me.

- By E.V. Seegmiller -